Well, hell. It’s been a few months since I’ve posted, but it’s not been out of laziness or a lack of thoughts spinning in my head.
Last Friday marked my last day at my job. Tearfully leaving a school and people I love because I’m sick of being taken for granted by the people above me. I’m serious when I say I’m done being the good girl who just constantly absorbs everyone’s crap.
Today is my oldest daughter’s 22nd birthday. I am so proud of her and feel so much joy remembering her and how far we’ve come as a mom and daughter. But it also makes me feel old. And a stronger sense of urgency to not waste any more of my life doing things for people who just want to use me as a stepping stone for their own ambitions.
I’m ready for a new beginning. I just hope the world will not dismiss a woman approaching 50 who is just finding her voice and wisdom. I’m ready to demand what I’m worth, make some money, and be the role model for my daughters to see that they should speak up for themselves from day one on the job and in relationships.
This is a total leap of faith for me: leaving job security, “benefits” and a routine to my days. But I know I have to do it. I am regretting I didn’t take more job risks earlier, and that I haven’t looked out for myself better financially, because I was always taking care of others. I am driven on to do it in order to prove that I can do it. And because I know I will be riddled with regret if I don’t go for it. I’ve waited til 48 to take the major gamble on myself. It’s about time.